There is a lot of talk in the news about hate these days. Some people use the word to replace dislike, like when someone says “I hate my hair today” or “I hate peas”. You don’t really hate your hair or peas, you dislike them.
Some people think it is the opposite of love and that you have had to love someone a lot in order to hate them. Some people hate like it’s an occupation, like it’s a normal thing to do. Like if they don’t hate something they won’t know how to exist. There is fear and anger underneath hate. Hate is not the opposite of love. The opposite of any emotion is apathy, a lack of any feeling. Hate and love cannot co-exist.
When a marriage or a relationship dissolves, you may be angry, rageful, disgusted, fearful, hurt, revengeful or apathetic, but you do not feel hate. Hate comes when you cannot or will not resolve those feelings. When you allow them to fester and grow into something more sinister. You allow those feelings to become larger the life. You choose not to resolve them in a manner that is peaceful and loving, but instead angry, fearful and revengeful, because you are angry, fearful and revengeful. Love cannot co-exist in someone like that.
Hate is a waste of energy that could be better used to help, instead of hurt. All of the anger, fear and revenge that you feel could be used to change the exact thing that is making you feel those emotions. Change them in a manner that would allow people to hear you instead of run away or fight back. The only one who hears the words of someone who is angry, is another angry person. Most people only hear and see the anger, not what is being said, not the words themselves. Love cannot exist there. Love will never exist there until you resolve the anger, fear and feeling like you have a right for revenge.
To resolve this you will have to let go of the anger, fear and need for revenge. This will be difficult if you have been feeling this most of your life, or have been taught it by your parents or the people in your community or church. In order to have love and the peace that comes with that in your life, you will have to let go of the feelings of anger, fear and revenge.